This ugly feeling

It’s funny how different things are when you are in a relationship and when you no longer are. There are those people who are comfortable being alone. I’m not really sure why. Maybe they are too focused on something to have time for any one else even if they like someone. Either way I consider it a good thing. I, on the other hand, feel really lonely all the time. Even when I’m busy I find a way to think about the person I like. It sucks to feel sad every day.

I now have all this extra time and I pay attention and remember the littlest things about everyone. I try to think of God a lot to keep me happy. But it just feels like I’m trying to push through life. It used to feel like I could just prance right through it. My life feels unsatisfying. Even with organizing events and starting up hobbies and going to work for 8 hours. I feel like I’m just trying to hurry up and get through the day. I feel like that everyday. The hobbies and the events help.

I keep hoping that what I’m going through is just withdrawal and that its a transition. I’m hoping that pretty soon I’ll feel happy with my life. They say that if you follow God and read the word you will feel peace and satisfaction.

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