I’m back but depressed

I feel like my legs were taken away from me and I’m left to find a way to move in life. It’s possible but very hard. Everybody thinks that it’s easy to just start over, to say goodbye, to be who I was and be alone. What I want: friends, a hug and for the guy I like to say that he has a little speck of his heart to share with me. Right now I’m giving my self false hope. I want to share my moments with someone, at least a friend. I don’t want to learn how to be with myself. That’s not fun. My life isn’t fun. My life isn’t the way I want it to be at all. I’m afraid to say this but I hate my life. I literally want to jump off a bridge right this second. But if people knew that, then they would be less likely to be my friend. 😦 It’s hard to stay positive. Everybody thinks everything is so easy. I don’t even want to go to my church anymore. I’ll have to start all over again. I wish there would be someone to save me, someone to help me. But there is no one, I have to save myself. I have blocked them and deleted them. I’ve never been comfortable being by myself. I don’t think I’ll learn how to. Since I was in middle school I was depressed but I have to say “yes I can”.

What I’ll do:

Start praying in the mornings again

Write good things about myself

 

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